Daylight's Demise Spoof
by Mind.Caster
Summary: I'm back! This is just a little short story I wrote with my friend Bhighj who has no stories about Twilight up. Umm, this is just a spoof, but i think that i will write more spoofs and a sequal...Enjoy!


Guess who's back?

MINDCASTER!

_A Daylight's Demise Short Story _

written with Bhighj

_Nikki's Point of View_

I lost my iPod again. I wonder who took it, I looked pointedly at Alice, who had earphones in her ears hidden in her sweat shirt. I glared at her and she just smiled sweetly.

I was stiffly mushed into a corner while Alice comfortably lounged, taking the entire length of the couch, though she was short it didn't mean that thing couldn't take up any room. Imagine sharing a room with hog with a "good" fashion sense. She doesn't like black. Note the evil glare.

I turned my attention back to my copy of _Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment. _Wishing I could just fly away and drop Alice out of the clouds. For the fifth time. Today.

_Edward's Point of View_

I swear to God, if Nikki stole another cookie that _I _baked, I would kill her. If I were mean, which I can be. Especially when Harold, the fat yet cute stuffed bunny I hunt with, is not clean. How can Nikki eat? Go ask Nikki, she's such a fat elephant! Wait, no Nikki, I didn't mean it!

_Nikki's Point of View_

When I was reading I got an interesting thought coming from Edward, he called me a fat elephant. How do I take that? Cry? Laugh? No! I called him a fat pig and I broke his fat nose.

To the readers: How my mother ever loved him, I will never know. The charm is for show. And I don't buy it.

Mostly when I'm in the shower, the door opens a crack and Edward whispers, "Are you done yet?"

"No!"

Four seconds later, "Now?"

"No!"

Three seconds later, "How 'bout now?"

I stopped with saying "no" and just threw a the towel rack at him. I even make Esme curse. I guess it's just my kind nature. I could make Mother Teressa into an ax murderer.

I stood up and walked to the walk in closet that I shared with Alice and looked at the two black and red shirts that hung in plain sight.

The red one with black letters: _So sensitive..._

The black one said with red letters said: ..._It makes me sick_

(From one of my favorite songs: "Well Enough Alone" by Chevell) Not like Edward actually wore the shirt, but Alice did. I turned to Alice, who was now jumping up and down playing the air-guitar with her eyes closed, she muttered out loud (several pitches to high) "Hey Miss Murder can I? Hey Miss Murder can I? Make beauty stay, if I take my life? Whoa!" I plucked the earphones out of her ears and took my green iPod back.

She stuck her tongue out and walked away. I rolled my eyes.

_Edward's Point of View _

Nikki was unusually quiet, she probably was constructing an evil plan to attack me in the night. (Yes, she has done that before, and yes, it scared the crap outta me. It made Harold cry, too.) Anyway, I heard a chuckle, and the those sweet silver eyes come to stare at me.

"Hey, Edward, do you want to come ice skating? We can go down to the lake?" she smiled happily.

"Hell NO! Not after what happened last week!" I screamed.

"Please? Pleaaaase? Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee?" she smiled cutely.

"As long as you don't tie Harold to a chair and hold a knife near his bunny head and make me pay 7,000 ransom," I growled, and she jumped on my lap.

"I won't, I promise," I heard a very low chuckle, then she hugged me.

_Nikki's Point's of View_

We drove me new little beat up blue Hybrid Honda Civic(I drove it into a tree a couple of times) to the lake and put on the ice skates.

I raced Edward down to the icy water (and, duh, won) and then started skating, he came up behind me and tried to grab me, but I manged to trip him and watch him fall head first into the ice.

"Ha, ha!" I said circling him, he didn't get up.

"Edward?" I used the tip of my ice skate to stop myself and I heard his muffled response, "My face is stuck to the ice." I raised and eye brow and watched him.

"Yeah, right," I answered and skated away, "Race ya home!" I yelled over my shoulder and jumped into my car. I stuck the keys into the ignition and sped off down the road, I was half way home when I realized that...AH CRAP HE WAS STUCK!

I spun around and sped down the street again and Sam saw me coming, his mouth opened and it looked like he was staying "Bella" but I didn't stop, he held up a hand, as if it would stop me. His eyes widened in fear and he quickly switched into wolf form and tried to jump over the car, but he got stuck on the roof, I could hear his claws dig into the top of the car, then they broke through the exterior.

"Oh, c'mon," I muttered and made my way back to the lake.

_Edward's Point of View_

I pulled my cell-phone out of my pocket and dialed Alice's number but she was already coming toward me. With a chain-saw. (I had heard her thoughts: _Oh, I hope Carlisle don't notice that the chain-saw, I know how bad he wanted to build that tree house. _Enough said) I looked up at her and she watched me.

"Vision?"

"Vision." Right. Okay, then. She watched me then she started the chain-saw.

"Do you know use that?" I yelled over the noise.

"Nadda clue! But does it matter!"

"If I wanna keep my head!"

"Jesus Christ and all the saints." Nikki was back. She watched me.

"I'd say I was sorry, but I wouldn't mean it," she stated with no emotion. Alice cut a circle around my head, and my entire body. Then the ice began to crack, and I fell through. My face was freed, once I was trapped in the icy pit of doom I saw Nikki and Alice run for it. I heard the slightest thing that sounded like Nikki's voice, "I'm thirsty, wanna get a float?"

"Yeah!"

Several Hours Later

MindCaster's Point of View

Yes, Edward was freed from the "icy pit of doom" and is now home, trying to attempt to get back at Nikki, though we all know it won't work.

Sorry, Edward.

Alice unwillingly gave Nikki's iPod back, and now is forcing Jasper to buy her one. Do you see the love? Jasper, has no choice but to comply. Because, as of now, I control their future. I'm evil. I know (Nikki was based off of me...)

I don't want Nikki to _hate _Edward, but it makes a good story.

This was a spoof, so my lovely readers, do not freak out and un-favor all of my stories. 'Cause then we'd have a problem.

Bhighj and I will probably be writing more, we'll see how that works out...I'm still deciding whether or not to write another Daylight's Demise...I think I'll side with writing another one.

Give half of the...humor to Bhighj, and most of Nikki's evil deeds to myself.

Please R&R!

-MindCaster


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